Oh sh*t (part 2)

We spent approximately $50 on a baby thermometer that can be used either in the ear or across the forehead.  It seemed like the perfect way to take Ari's temperature.  Silly first-time parents.  We didn't know that there really is only one accurate way to take a tot's temp...in the tush!

I was so nervous the first time I had to do this that I called the pediatrician for moral support.  (I also don't know why she hasn't dropped us from her patient roster.)  We dipped the tip in vaseline, lifted Ari's legs, spread his tiny cheeks, and presto!  The thermometer went in, took a reading, and came out clean!  No tears, no problem.  I even enjoyed it. 

Imagine my surprise when round 2 didn't go as smoothly.  Nope, it was a truly crappy experience.

Poor Ari had 4 shots at his 5 month doc visit Tuesday afternoon.  He was such a big boy, didn't complain at all before them, and recovered like a champ.  But the next day, he was in a bit of a funk.  His cheeks bright red and his forehead warm, I wanted to check for fever. 

Legs up, thermometer in, 98.2...98.4...98.8...99.2... I watched the digital reading ... 99.4...99.5... whattheheckpoopeverywhereandwheredidthethermometergo?  Stunned, it took me a minute to make sense of what had just happened.  I won't give you a visual...ok, I will - the changing pad, my right hand, and even the side of the vaseline container were poop-laden, the thermometer had been dropped on the floor (luckily, it landed on hardwood), and little Ari just lay happy (and empty) in his own poo.  If he wasn't rolling over these days, I would have left him there to get the camera, but alas, you'll just have to imagine the scene.

I cleaned up the mess, put on a fresh diaper and outfit, gave him some tylenol, and put him down for a nap.  But then it hit me - I never heard the thermometer beep signaling the reading was complete! 

If you leave a comment and tell me what you think I did next, I will write you back and tell you if you're right.  No comment, no conclusion.  Pathetic attempt to increase comments?  I agree.  Ok, maybe bribery will work.  Some of you will get a box of Thin Mints.