A letter to flight 1252

To the passengers of flight 1252 from Washington Dulles to Boston,

On behalf of my 8 month old son, I want to apologize for the sh*t/spit combo on the flight Saturday morning.  When someone once told me baby poop defies gravity, I chuckled and thought they were being dramatic.  But as it turns out, Isaac Newton must have never had kids, because as you all witnessed, when a baby goes #2 on an airplane, it ends up everywhere except in the diaper.

Thank you to those who offered to help.  I know you were just being polite.  To those of you who rolled your eyes and mouthed "oh my god do you smell that?" as I walked by, I appreciate your sense-itivity.

I can't figure out what caused such an enormous crap.  What did he eat the day before?  It must have been the hamburger, salmon, egg yolks, yogurt, waffles, chicken, beef kabob, blueberries, cantaloupe, cheese.  Same thing happens to his mommy.

And to the unlucky passenger in seat 22B on the flight after us, I hope you were wearing a dark color.