1-800-TERMINIX

After our home inspection, we received the comforting assurance that our casa had no termite damage and no sign of the pesky pests.  I was relieved.  I loooved the nothing-else-like-it-in-Brookline townhouse, but was petrified of small animals cohabiting with us. 

You see, there are many things I could learn to live with in our 1950's brick home - like colorful wallpaper, a pink and black bathroom, and a mean old lady living next door...actually she fell a few months ago and hasn't come back so I am a terrible human being for saying anything about her...especially since we now have access to her garbage cans and can use our front hallway for storage, and a harmless next door neighbor.  (The charm and character, gorgeous mouldings and built-ins, huge bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, finished basement, proximity to the T and Coolidge Corner, and unbelievable park and playground right outside our door could not be beat. [Apologies for the advertisement, but, anyone want to buy our condo?  It's not on the market yet, so we can both save broker fees.  It's awesome.  Contact me for deets.] )

But back to my point...I could not, and cannot, learn to live with ants.  Or mice.  Or cats.   And definitely not termites. 

Termites freak me out.  They reproduce, well, like Mormons - one King termite takes multiple female termite partners and before you know it, one runs for President one turns into one thousand.  They go door to door in every neighborhood and try hard to get into your home and eat at your dinner table.  And if one of your neighbors lets them in, they make themselves at home and swarm around the block.  Truly a nuisance.

Speaking of which, it has come to my attention that we may have one of the first signs of termite infestation: wood damage.

Check out Ari's crib.  Those are little bite marks all along the railing!  Yikes.  I think I have some big ass bugs hiding out in here.

I'm really scared.  What if they nibble on my baby?  Or gnaw through the walls?  And take over my house?!

Okay, you figured it out.  My home is not infested with insects.  Ari!  That is not what I meant by "solid food."

Termites! Teething!