Day 15

Ari smells bad.  And I miss his old scent.  It was a combination of Mustela bath products (definitely overpriced but totally worth it simply for the incredible aroma it left in his hair and on his little body), Dreft detergent, and then his natural odor.  Eau de Ari.  Delightful.  Delicious.  I used to sniff every inch of his little body after his nightly bath.  I wish I had bottled his scent and could spritz it on him now. 

Because when I hold him and kiss him these days, I smell disease.  It could just be the lack of fragrance in the air and in the linens at the hospital, or maybe it's the smell of medicine being pumped through his veins.  (It also can't help matters that he hasn't taken a real bath in over 2 weeks.)  Either way, I'm convinced I can smell the cancer on his skin.  And all I want to do is scrub him and wash him until he's squeaky clean and no longer full of toxins.

But I will have to wait a while before I have my sweet scented Ari back.  And that's okay...as long as I get him back.

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Daily update:

Not much has changed since yesterday.  We did receive confirmation that yesterday's spinal fluid was clear of leukemia cells.  HUGE accomplishment.  We need 2 more negative lumbar punctures before the little guy no longer receives the spinal tap 2x per week and we can check off that box under the category "remission."  Definition - No cancer in the spinal fluid, no leukemia in the blood blasts (we are getting there), and nothing in the marrow (they won't test for another 10 days or so).  Plus, blood counts have to rise to normal levels again.  Still optimistic, but not expecting this for 2 weeks.

In other news, we tried the oreo milkshake today.  No luck.  We did, however, add a few new foods to Ari's daily roster - avocado, gnocchi, and matzo balls.  The key is soft, bland, and easy to pick up himself.  Got any suggestions?

Oh...and Ari is pooping again!  And he's being silly!  Now we're getting back the Ari I used to know.

Finally, I love you all.  Your support has been truly amazing and overwhelming.  Your calls, notes, emails, texts, meals, gifts, offers, and most of all love have kept us smiling and kept us going through the very long days.  But please no more baked goods.  I can't stop myself from eating them.   Still on room precautions due to the viral infection...even our guest musician had to wear a mask in the room today:

(Ari wasn't so into him.)